Sick of Living in a Shadow (A Loki and Thor Fanfiction)
by FrodoLuverNumber1
Summary: Loki is fed up. With Thor always belittling him, his father always favoring Thor, his own people treating him like dirt, he's done. "Something deep inside me snaps.The Loki I used to be that everyone knew is not here anymore. The weak, pathetic, Loki I was is gone. The angry, bloodthirsty, Loki I am now has come forth."
1. Chapter 1

The tall towers are so tall, they seem to be reaching out to touch the clouds. The rivers that slither through the city glisten in the afternoon sun. Children laugh and play just as children laugh and play on Earth. But this is not Earth. This is Agsard, home of the gods.

I look up from my book and see my brother Thor strutting into the room, a look of pure arrogance plastered on his face. "Why, hello, Loki! How are you this fine afternoon?" He is grinning as he says this, and my heart sinks into the deepest, darkest crevice of my stomach.

"Has Father decided to pick you for his heir to the throne?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Why, yes! Yes, he has!" Thor is grinning widely and mockingly as he sees my clear pain.

"Well," I say, trying not to show how hurt I really am, "Congratulations. You will be a fine king, I'm sure."

"Right you are, brother!" Thor says, and ruffles my dark, black hair in a belittling way. "Thought I'd drop by to share the good news!"

"Well, thank-you for the announcement," I say and turn back to my book, trying to hide the fact that I feel like bawling. It is easier to just hide my true feelings when it comes to Thor. His ego is so big, while my self-esteem has amounted to nothing over the years.

Thor rips the book from my hands and slaps the table I am sitting at. "We must have a party! I will have the servants start to prepare a party before my coronation tonight filled with dancing and wine and everything for me, oh, us, I mean!" And with that he gives me a quick grin and dashes out of the room to flag down a servant.

I sit there in that happy, sunny room and try to keep from crying. What is wrong with me? Why wouldn't Father pick me? It's no mystery, though. There's Thor, the joker, nice guy, tough. Father's favorite. Then me, the shrimp, the quiet one, weak. Not Father's favorite.

I sigh, and rise, deciding to take a walk around the palace to clear my head. I wandered aimlessly around it for a while until I bumped into my father.

"Hello, Loki," says Father, smiling and tilting his head slightly as if to say, "I'm sorry" without really having to.

"Father," I say. Just seeing my father makes me boil with rage and sadness and hate. Being pushed around for my whole life by Thor did that to me; gave me all of those mixed emotions.

"Loki," he sighs. "I'm sorry I didn't pick you. I just thought Thor would be better for the kingdom."

"Why?" I say, my tone becoming angrier and angrier. "Why would he be better for king? All I have ever done is do what you command and do everything Thor does just as well!"

"Loki," he sighs and put a hand on my shoulder.

I jerk away his hand. "Don't pick favorites, Father. It really doesn't suit you very well."

"Don't you take that tone with me! I know that I have disappointed you, but you are still my son!" Father says, his own tone hardening as mine had.

"Really?" I ask, ready to blow with anger. "Because you don't treat me like it!"

My father stares at me. "What is that supposed to mean!?"

"It means that you don't treat me like a son!" I scream, not caring that people walking by are staring. My voice softens as I suddenly become close to tears. My throat closes up, and I feel my eyes sting with tears. "You constantly praise Thor and talk about him with you friends, saying, 'Oh, look, Thor just took down a whole bunch of Frost Giants all by himself!' and whatever exciting thing he's done! I am just a second-glance! I am invisible to you! I don't exist! You don't treat me like your son at all! It's like I'm not your son!"

The next thing he says will change my life forever.

"Well, Loki, you're not my son, yo-" as soon as the words leave his mouth, I know he wants to take them back.

"What?"

Father, well, Odin, sighs. He takes a while before he speaks. "After the war we fought against the Frost Giants, I found a small Frost Giant baby. I took it home and raised it as my own. That is you, Loki."

My eyes widen in shock.

"I'm a-a F-Frost G-G-Giant?"

"Yes. You are."

"You're not my father?" I ask, not wanting to believe this.

"No," he says.

I stare at the floor, not wanting to look this liar in the eyes. I am a... Frost G-Giant? Asgard's sworn enemy? But then, I realized something.

"Oh," I say, rising my face to meet my Fa- Odin's eyes. "That makes so much sense, now! You could NEVER have a Frost Giant on the Throne! Not in your wildest imagination would you have had me as king! So, even though I did what you said perfectly, without a fault, you picked Thor over me merely because I'm not your flesh and blood! Well," I say, tears beginning to pour. "I hope Thor is the heir you've always wanted, 'Father!'"

And with that, I storm of half in anger, half in sadness, and the present feeling, heartbreak.

I run upstairs to my room and throw myself on my bed. The sun gets in my eyes and I shut the blinds angrily.

That makes so much sense! THAT'S why he would never have picked me for the heir and never talked about me! I'm not his own son! I'm a... Frost Giant.

I feel so many feelings right now. I feel anger, anguish, hatred, in my heart. It's brimming with hate for Thor and my "father".

Something deep inside me snaps. The Loki I used to be that everyone knew is not here anymore. The weak, pathetic, Loki I was is gone. The angry, bloodthirsty, Loki I am now has come forth.


	2. Chapter 2

"Brother!" Thor knocks on my bedroom door. "Are you coming, Loki?"

I raise my blue eyes to meet my brother's own seemingly bluer eyes. His eyes are filled with kindness as mine on the other hand, are filled with hate and malice.

"Head down without me, won't you, Brother?" I suggest, forcing a smile.

"Alright!" He nods. "But if there's no more wine or food to fill your belly with when you get down there, don't blame me!"

"It's alright," I say. "I'm not very hungry, anyway." I was so nervous being that I was about to put my plan into action, even if I did have a bite to eat, I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep it down.

Thor looks at me and tilts his head at me. "Are you alright, Loki?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask in return, not answering his question.

"I don't know. You just seem off or like something is wrong. You sure you are fine?" He asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.

Why do people keep doing that to me? I think. I hate that!

I shove off his hand. "I'm fine!" I yell. "Now go down to your little party!"

Thor frowns at me, his hands on his hips. "Why are being like this? I've never heard you speak like this!"

"Well," I say, rising from the chair I am seated in, "maybe, you've never heard me stand up to you before!"

"Stand up to me?" He questions, looking quite frazzled. "I wasn't even doing anything wrong or mean!"

"You were belittling and undermining me!" I scream, my temper rising as my voice also does. "You always do this! Make me feel as if I am a bug compared to you!"

"What!?" Thor yells back, but then his face softens. "Do I really do that?"

I sigh. "Yes, you do. You really do."

Thor is quiet for a while. "Well, I don't mean to..."

"But you do!" I say, my temper rising again. Why he just apologize, not make excuses.

"Alright," Thor says, realizing he should apologize. "I'm sorry." He voice softens, then. He actually seems like he is truly sorry. "I'm am very sorry."

The old Loki part of me wants to forgive Thor and just forget my whole plan. Just give up and go back to being qeak and pathetic, utterly useless.

Now the new Loki part tells me, "What are you thinking? Give up now when you finally, finally stood up for yourself? You are weak!"

I shake away the thought of giving up away.

"Whatever you say, Thor, just go down without me," I say, giving a chilling look.

Thor shoots me a glare right back. "Fine, I will!"

He slams my door and storms off.

I resisted! I think. I didn't give in!

Good. Very good.

When I enter the dining hall where the party in Thor's, oh, pardon me, our honor, is being held, I am greeted by a drunken man, ovbiously a happy drunk.

"Hello, laddy!" the man says, slapping a hand on my back and taking another swig from his goblet. "How'r yoooooou bein' this fiiiine evenin'?I'm grrrrreat!"

"That is wonderful, sir," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"The win' is so delicious! The grrrapes must of been f-fer-fermented! That's the word! They musta' fermented for a long, long, long, long, tiiiime!"

"I can tell," I say, trying to push by this annoying man away.

"Oh, and the food!" he continues. "It is absolutely stellar! Ju-Just amazing! You best get some food in you before it's all gone!" He looks me up and down, tilts his head, and says, "You need some skin on your bones! Just look at you! You're too skinny! C'mon, laddy!"

He hits my belly with the back of his hand to show I'm "too skinny!" This infuriates me because my whole life, I've been "much too skinny" to be a God, and I have had enough of this.

I grab his hand harshly and his eyes fill with fear as I twist his arm around, throwing him to the floor.

My first inclination is to apologize profusely and help up the man. But my second is to laugh.

I give in to the second inclination.

I scoop down low to the ground and whisper cruelly in the wounded man's ear, "Never touch me again, you scum."

I feel power and worth surge though my veins at this new side of me. If this encounter had occurred a week ago, I would have quietly laughed off the insult and secluded to the back of the dining room. But now? Not in a thousand years would I have done what the pathetic side of me would have done in the past.

"Hello, Loki," I hear my name called and turn to see my mother behind me.

"Hello, Mo-" I stop talking halfway through her name because, that's not her name to me. " I mean Frigga."

Frigga frowns at me. "What?"

"Father let your little secret slip," I informed her, feeling slightly bad at treating her the way, but I push the guilt down and subdue it for a little while.

"Oh, he did, did he?" Frigga sighs.

"Yes!" I scream at her, not caring who sees. "When where you going to tell me? Never? You were just going to let me live my life, unaware the whole time that I am not who I thought I was!"

People are listening now, shock clear on their faces.

"Yes!" I scream, turning to my new audience. "I am not this woman's son! Not the Allfather's son! Not even the ALMIGHTY THOR'S BROTHER!"

"Loki," Frigga says, placing a hand on my arm but I rip it away. "You need to calm down-"

"NO!" I'm so sick of this. "I will not!"

I yell out another sentence, this time with a bit more profanity than I'd like to admit, when another arm is placed on my arm; this time, it is one of the palace guards.

"Come, Master Loki," the guard says. "Let me escort you to your chambers."

"NO!" I rip from the guard's grasp. "I will not!"

Every single person in the whole room has turned their attention to me and are filled with shock and awe.

"Come now!' I say, getting a look of a mixture of rage and insanity on my face. "You must have known I was not of royal blood!" I laugh softly. "Well, I am of royal blood, just not Odin's." I wait for effect. "I'm of Laufey's blood."

Gasps are heard throughout the room. I can practically feel the disgust crawling into the people's hearts toward me.

"That's right!" I scream. "Go ahead! SHUN ME! DO WHAT YOU MUST FOR ODIN'S SAKE!" I get quieter. "Who knows? Maybe I'll lead the Frost Giants right into here. Start a war, maybe? It's only fair!" I laugh a sinisterly wicked laugh, yes, throwing back my head and all.

As I laugh, a dark shadow comes behind me and I hear a WHACK! that follows up with an intense pain. I fall to the floor cradling my head in my hands as the world goes black. Before I completely passed out I could hear Thor say, "This is for your own good. I am sorry for this... brother."


	3. Chapter 3

When I wake up, I discover that I'm lying in my plush bed, staring at the ceiling with an awful headache.

I struggle to push myself up onto my elbows and I turn my head as I hear a noise. It turns out that sound is Thor snoring.

Thor jerks awake as if he senses I'm awake. "Loki! You are awake!"

"Yes, Thor. What happened?" I ask, rubbing my head. "All I remember is..." I stop massaging my aching head and look straight and Thor. "You knocked me out!"

"It was for your own good," Thor explains, staring at the floor. "I am sorry, though. Truly. Please forgive me."

Thor looks up and gives me this look that says, "You're weak and pathetic so you'll forgive me." Or that's what I perceive it.

"Just help me up," I say. If this had been a while ago, I would have added, "Please,". Not now.

"Alright, Brother," Thor rises from the comfortable chair he's sitting in. Thor gently grabs my arm and pulls me up. With the blankets off, I realize I am in my sleeping clothes.

"Who put me in these?"

"Well, I did. You wouldn't be comfortable in your regular clothes, would you?" Thor gives me this look that infuriates me. The look says, "Pathetic little Loki! He can't even dress himself!"

"Well, it is the absolute least you can do. After all, you did knock me unconscious," I point out, a scowl adorning my face.

Thor smiles softly. "You are so hard to please, Brother."

There is a bit of silence until my moth-um, Frigga bursts into the room.

"Oh, Loki!" she shouts and runs over to me, throwing her arms around me. "You're awake! I thought Thor hit you too hard and that you weren't going to wake up..." Frigga pulls back and looks into my blue eyes with her old green ones that are clouded with unshed tears.

"I'm alright, Frigga," I sigh, rubbing my head, which is still throbbing.

The tears start to pour from Frigga's eyes. "Oh, how I wish you would call me, 'Mother' again!"

I feel slightly bad and a twinge of guilt pulls at my heart at her words. This woman did raise me, whether she is my true mother or not. But no. If I give in now, who knows what else I would give up? "Well, I wouldn't want to lie."

Frigga gives me a sad smile and nods. "No, we wouldn't want that. Well, Loki, you should come down stairs. I've made you're favorite for breakfast! Omelets!"

"My favorite are pancakes," I roll my eyes, feeling myself smile slightly at this rebellious side. "You're so smart. Frigga."

Frigga stares at me. Thor gets red in the face and clenches his fist. "Apologize. Now, Loki."

"Or what?" I ask.

"I'll make you do it."

I roll my eyes again. "Sure, you will!"

"Loki!"

Frigga and Thor stare at me. "Why are you being like this?" Frigga asks, more tears in her eyes.

"Being like what?" There goes my temper. "Mean? Cruel? I chuckle darkly. "Cold? Well, I am a Frost Giant after all."

I storm out of the room, but no before grabbing my scepter. I'll be needing this for the next step of my plan. I descend the steps and exit the palace. I run to the edge of the Rainbow Bridge.

I start to make my way over it when Heimdall, the Keeper of the Bridge, appears in my way. "What do you need, young Master Loki?"

"To go to Earth," I say, trying to sound casual.

"Why?"

"I need to!"

Heimdall narrows his golden eyes. "I cannot allow this without Odin's very permission."

"Then I'll go to Earth myself. With your help or not."

I lift my scepter and blast Heimdall out of the way before his old mind has time to think. I grab his staff and enter the Bifrost, the way by which we travel between worlds. I use his staff to open the Bifrost and take a final look at Asgard before I am whisked away down to Earth.


	4. Chapter 4

When I arrive on Midgard, it looks bleak. Dessert and cactus are the only things around me.

"Lovely," I mutter.

I scan the area and see there is a town up ahead. I start to walk toward the town.

When I come to town, everyone is looking at me strangely. I sneer at them and they move out of my way. It feels stupendous to feel so powerful; I'm so powerful compared to these Midgardians.

I realize I am very hungry since I skipped "my favorite breakfast of omelets" and head into the nearest building.

I see it says this place is a "coffee house". I don't know what this "coffee" is or why it needs a home but it is apparently very popular with Midgardians.

"Do you have nourishment here?" I ask the teenaged boy standing behind the counter.

"Uh, we have muffins if that's what you mean," the boy says, eyeing my outfit.

"I'll have one!" I demand.

"Okay," the boy punches a keypad on a strange machine. "That'll be two-fifty."

"Two-fifty what?" I ask, confused.

"Dollars?" he says, as if it's obvious.

"I do not have any 'dollars'," I do air quotations on the word "dollars".

"Well, they you can't have the muffin," the cashier says. "Now, if you don't mind, I have other customers that actually can pay."

I glare at the worker and say angrily, "When I am ruling Midgard, you will be the first to be destroyed!"

I storm off, leaving a very confused cashier in my wake.

I walk around the town, searching for my desired location: Jane Foster's workplace.

I'd done some research and discovered this Jane character knew a lot about space. I figured she knew information about what I required.

I eventually came to a rusty old building. It has clear windows for walls and inside it, I caught a glimpse of light brunette hair followed by a fluster of papers.

"Darcy!" a female voice yells in anger. "What did I tell you about turning on the fan when I have papers spread out!"

"But it's too hot in here!" another feminine voice calls back.

I walk up to the building and knock on one of the window-walls.

The light brown-haired woman looks up and says, "Yeah? Look, dude. I'm busy, so make it quick, okay?"

I walk into the place and I suspect I've found Jane. All over the place there are pictures of space and stars and planets posted on cork boards. On white boards, equations adorn them.

"Are you Jane Foster?" I ask.

"Yep, that's me," the woman says. "What do you need? Like I said-"

"I understand. You're busy," I say, walking over to Jane's table which is covered with pictures of stars. "But I have some questions."

"Ask Selvig," Jane jabs her finger behind her. "He's in the back. He's not doing anything. Darcy, even. Just not me!"

I roll my eyes at this annoying woman and address the dark-haired, glasses-wearing girl doing something with a white rectangle apparently named Darcy.

"What is that?" I point to the object in her hands.

"An iPhone?" Darcy says, not looking up from the strange rectangle. She just repeatedly presses it. She finally looks up and her eyes grow wide. "Woah. Are you from Europe or something? Is this some new weird fashion trend?" she says, gesturing to my ensemble.

"What is it about my outfit that confuses people?" I ask, looking down at my green and black Asgardian outfit. I shake my head. "I have some questions."

"Seriously, are you going to Comic-Con or something?"

I huff in aggravation. "Is there anyone intelligent on this planet?"

"Yeah!" Darcy exclaims, becoming angry. "But you're bugging me so go ask Selvig! He's in the back; go talk to him!"

I roll my eyes and stalk to the back room. I pull open the checker curtain and see an old man with balding hair tinkering with some machine.

"Are you 'Selvig'?" I ask, making the man jump.

"Yes, that's me," the man says after he's recovered from his micro heart attack.

"I need information," I say. "About space. It's about constellations."

"What do you need to know?" Selvig asks, and he finally turns to face me. He gasps and his eyes grow wide.

"Y-You're L-L-Loki!" He stutters. "I-I know you!"

"You do?" I ask in surprise.

"Yes! You're brother of Thor! You're father Odin and mother Frigga! I know all about you!" Selvig exclaims.

"Yes, how do you know all that?" I ask.

"The books I read as a kid," Selvig explains. "I read tons about mythology! But, it's, it's real!"

"Well, of course it is, idiot!" I say, getting angry.

Selvig frowns. "Is that any way to treat someone you need answers from?"

"Is that any way to treat someone who could destroy in a blink of an eye?" I retort snootily.

Selvig shrugs. "Fair enough. What do you need to know?" Then his eyes narrow. "Wait, you're the trickster god... what do you want with the information you need?"

"Well," I say, thinking of what to say, "you see, back on Asgard, my family is in a bit of a pinch. The Frost Giants are about to attack. I need this information to discover a way to escape when they come through." I put on my puppy-dog eyes. "It's for my family. Don't you know how important that is?"

That's not it at all. What I need to know is where I need to travel in the Nine Realms that I can discover a way to open a black hole and throw Thor in it.

Selvig eyes me suspiciously, then his eyes soften. "Alright. What do you need?"

"How to open a wormhole so we can escape from the Frost Giants," I lie. Wormhole, black hole. Same thing.

"Open one?" Selvig asks. "Well, for you it might be different for you with your powers. You could probably just use that scepter thing of yours."

"I suspected that, but where would I go?" I ask.

"To a white dwarf, I'd suspect," Selvig says.

"Where is the closest one?" I ask him.

"I have the coordinates here. Lucky for you, I've been studying white dwarves recently," Selvig walks over to his desk and picks up a piece of paper.

He hands it over. "Go here and you'll find one. You can open it and it'll either create a wormhole, which is what you want, or a black hole, which you don't want."

Other way around.

I accept the paper and look at it happily. "Fantastic. Thank-you, Midgardian."

"I hope your family stays safe," Selvig says with sincerity.

"What?" I say, not remembering what I'd said before. "Oh, right! Yes, of course."

Selvig nods and I turn, walking out of the room.

I hear Darcy babbling on: "I know he's annoying and kind of a dick, but holy crap, he's hot!"

Jane retorts, "Oh my God, Darcy."

I come back into the room and say, "I don't have a fever."

"What?" Darcy asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

"You said I was hot," I say, my own eyebrows doing the same.

"Yeah," Darcy says warily. "Like cute? Sexy? Um, attractive? Where are you from?"

"Never you mind," I say. "Well, thank-you for allowing me into your VERY humble abode."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jane glares at me.

"Oh, nothing. Farewell, Midgardians," I nod to both women and head off.

Darcy calls as I exit, "See ya, you sexy weirdo!"

I point up my scepter at the sky and then realize something. There isn't a chance in Niflheim Heimdall will let me back into Asgard.

As the Midgardians say, holy crap. I'm stuck here.


End file.
